2010 was supposed to be my first year to spend Thanksgiving with Matt's family. Who knew that it would be in hospital. My sweet MIL prepared a full Thanksgiving feast and brought it to the hospital. It was really good. I love eating turkey and dressing and it was so nice to have the real stuff. I do have to say that it was not as enjoyable as it could have been at a home but we made the best of it.
My SIL decided I needed holiday cheer in my room so she came up one night and decorated my room. She put up a little Christmas tree, garland and made paper stocking to hang on our wall. We had one for Matt and I and one for Baby A and Baby B! It was so sweet of her to do that and it was nice to turn on the Christmas lights.
The first Christmas Matt and I had as a married couple was the huge snow storm of 2009. We got snowed in and had no food in the house since we were planning on being gone. We dug ourselves out and ate Chinese on Christmas. So fast forward to 2010 and again we are stuck. We convinced Matt's mom to not make us a full Christmas dinner and just do take out....what better than Chinese food! Matt and I now have decided that we are going to make it a family tradition to eat Chinese food on Christmas.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Visitors
I am going to make this short, but no less important.
One of the best, and sometimes hardest, parts of my time there were the visits from friends and family. My mother came for a week and would stay with me while Matt was at work. My MIL stayed with me for a week while Matt was at work, until I convinced everyone I would be fine by myself.
I had lots of good friends come and visit, some that I had not seen in a while. It was so good to have all of them stop and chat for a while. At times it was hard because I would get tired and it was hard for me to ask them to leave. Matt would get on to me for not saying anything, but I loved having people to talk to.
I did have a few random visitors. People that had heard about our situation in one way or another would often show up and I would have no idea who they were. They would tell me where they were from and I would see a connection to family or friends. Short visits were fine, but often they would turn into long visits of awkward conversations and for me too many personal questions. We finally had a not put on my door asking all visitors to call or check in at the nurses desk before coming in. That was a huge help!
I am grateful to all those that came to visit me and even more grateful to those that I love and care for, for the care and concern they showed me.
One of the best, and sometimes hardest, parts of my time there were the visits from friends and family. My mother came for a week and would stay with me while Matt was at work. My MIL stayed with me for a week while Matt was at work, until I convinced everyone I would be fine by myself.
I had lots of good friends come and visit, some that I had not seen in a while. It was so good to have all of them stop and chat for a while. At times it was hard because I would get tired and it was hard for me to ask them to leave. Matt would get on to me for not saying anything, but I loved having people to talk to.
I did have a few random visitors. People that had heard about our situation in one way or another would often show up and I would have no idea who they were. They would tell me where they were from and I would see a connection to family or friends. Short visits were fine, but often they would turn into long visits of awkward conversations and for me too many personal questions. We finally had a not put on my door asking all visitors to call or check in at the nurses desk before coming in. That was a huge help!
I am grateful to all those that came to visit me and even more grateful to those that I love and care for, for the care and concern they showed me.
Activities
I am not sure what happened to my post from last night. I will try to recreate it again and do my one from tonight as well....we will see if I can stay awake that long.
Being in a bed in a hospital for 6 weeks, one can go a little stir crazy, even if I did get to catch up on my reading and my television watching. I am fortunate to have an electronically inclined husband that can set up pretty nice entertainment system.
I don't remember if i mentioned about the 37 inch television we had, even if I did its worth mentioning again. Matt needed a television to play his video games on so he brought up our television from home. He set up the PS3 and had Netflix on it for me. Once I finally figured out how to run the stupid thing, I was able to watch a lot of great movies. I also had our iPad, my netbook and a bluetooth speaker to listen to music. Matt knows how to set a girl up! So there was a lot of regular television: HGTV, Food Network, The Today Show, Law and Order and occasionally trashy shows like 16 and Pregnant. There were a lot of old movies thanks to my friend Liz who has great taste in movies, newish movies, and girly movies that Matt would never watch.
I played around on the internet some, but for some reason I was really turned off by the internet. I am not sure why but I avoided it most of the time. I loved to listen to music. I had great stations on Pandora.
I spent a lot of my days reading. I restarted The Poisonwood Bible. It was a great read but I was very mad at the dad in the book. I wanted to hit him! I also started and finished The Hunger Games series in about a week. I could not put it down! It was a great read. I also read other books, of which the names seem to be escaping me now. I love my Kindle. It was the best present Matt could have ever given me. It really kept me company those 6 weeks.
I did rest and sleep a lot. I wish I could have bottled up that rest and use it now!
Being in a bed in a hospital for 6 weeks, one can go a little stir crazy, even if I did get to catch up on my reading and my television watching. I am fortunate to have an electronically inclined husband that can set up pretty nice entertainment system.
I don't remember if i mentioned about the 37 inch television we had, even if I did its worth mentioning again. Matt needed a television to play his video games on so he brought up our television from home. He set up the PS3 and had Netflix on it for me. Once I finally figured out how to run the stupid thing, I was able to watch a lot of great movies. I also had our iPad, my netbook and a bluetooth speaker to listen to music. Matt knows how to set a girl up! So there was a lot of regular television: HGTV, Food Network, The Today Show, Law and Order and occasionally trashy shows like 16 and Pregnant. There were a lot of old movies thanks to my friend Liz who has great taste in movies, newish movies, and girly movies that Matt would never watch.
I played around on the internet some, but for some reason I was really turned off by the internet. I am not sure why but I avoided it most of the time. I loved to listen to music. I had great stations on Pandora.
I spent a lot of my days reading. I restarted The Poisonwood Bible. It was a great read but I was very mad at the dad in the book. I wanted to hit him! I also started and finished The Hunger Games series in about a week. I could not put it down! It was a great read. I also read other books, of which the names seem to be escaping me now. I love my Kindle. It was the best present Matt could have ever given me. It really kept me company those 6 weeks.
I did rest and sleep a lot. I wish I could have bottled up that rest and use it now!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Nurses
I knew when I decided to try to blog for 31 days that it would be a ridiculous challenge, but man this is tough.
I had the most amazing nurses at the hospital. All but two were wonderful. I had fun with my day time nurses, but the night time ones were a blast. They all really made my time there much better than it could have been.
Because I was a "long-term" patient, they all fought over me...or at least that's what they told me! They say it was because they liked me so much and I was so great to talk to, but I think it was because I was an easy patient for their shift!
If I had to pick a favorite nurse, I would pick one from the day and one from the night. Natalie was on the day. She was so great. I loved talking to her and when I would have a down moment or contractions, she was so good at calming me down and keeping me positive. Whitney was my favorite night nurse. We had a lot in common and she had the greatest stories! She would literally say in my room sometimes for an hour just talking. She would watch the Thunder games with us while she was "putting the babies on the monitor."
I have to say, as glad as I was to leave that hospital, I really did miss the nurses. They became like family. There are still some days that I miss being there with them. I know I'm a little bit crazy!
I had the most amazing nurses at the hospital. All but two were wonderful. I had fun with my day time nurses, but the night time ones were a blast. They all really made my time there much better than it could have been.
Because I was a "long-term" patient, they all fought over me...or at least that's what they told me! They say it was because they liked me so much and I was so great to talk to, but I think it was because I was an easy patient for their shift!
If I had to pick a favorite nurse, I would pick one from the day and one from the night. Natalie was on the day. She was so great. I loved talking to her and when I would have a down moment or contractions, she was so good at calming me down and keeping me positive. Whitney was my favorite night nurse. We had a lot in common and she had the greatest stories! She would literally say in my room sometimes for an hour just talking. She would watch the Thunder games with us while she was "putting the babies on the monitor."
I have to say, as glad as I was to leave that hospital, I really did miss the nurses. They became like family. There are still some days that I miss being there with them. I know I'm a little bit crazy!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Room 418
Room 418 became my home for the next 32 days. At first they put me in a room with a tiny window that I couldn't even look out of, but my sweet husband asked if there was a room with a view since I would be a long-term resident. And so became 418. I could see some tops of trees, a parking garage and the west corner of Northwest Expressway. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I could look out the window and see a small green space. Hey at least I could see the sky.
The bathroom was so pretty and sparkly, but the shower flooded the whole bathroom. That was a bit of a task to try to solve. Most days I had a nurse or Matt put down blankets or towels at the edge of the shower curtain so it would keep the rest of the bathroom dry and I wouldn't slip and fall.
The couch in the room folded out into a bed, that apparently was not very comfortable. It felt really good to me when I would lay in it for a few minutes. I liked the change. The nurses provided Matt an extra pad for it and that seemed to help some, but he liked the old room couch much better.
We really did make ourselves at home. Here are a few pictures the night before we left the hospital. We figured we should get some to help us remember the only walls I saw for 5 weeks.
The bathroom was so pretty and sparkly, but the shower flooded the whole bathroom. That was a bit of a task to try to solve. Most days I had a nurse or Matt put down blankets or towels at the edge of the shower curtain so it would keep the rest of the bathroom dry and I wouldn't slip and fall.
The couch in the room folded out into a bed, that apparently was not very comfortable. It felt really good to me when I would lay in it for a few minutes. I liked the change. The nurses provided Matt an extra pad for it and that seemed to help some, but he liked the old room couch much better.
We really did make ourselves at home. Here are a few pictures the night before we left the hospital. We figured we should get some to help us remember the only walls I saw for 5 weeks.
My not so comfortable bed with about 3,000 pillows.
Matt's bed that he actually made up every day.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Life
I had planned to continue my story with the hospital and the babies, but today life has thrown another curve ball.
On Tuesday this week, my precious aunt passed out at work. She was taken to the hospital to have tests run. Today my mother called me to tell me she has a mass on her brain and that they will do surgery to remove it. Tonight I called to check on things and further tests revealed that she has two masses. One is operable and the other is not. They will do surgery on Tuesday to remove the mass that is located on the part of the brain that controls all of her motor functions. The other is too deep in her brain to try to operate. They are letting her go home for the weekend to rest and be with her family.
My aunt is a great woman of God and has great faith that He will cure her and protect her. She is showing great strength and courage that I know she is drawing from her Lord. Please pray for her.
On Tuesday this week, my precious aunt passed out at work. She was taken to the hospital to have tests run. Today my mother called me to tell me she has a mass on her brain and that they will do surgery to remove it. Tonight I called to check on things and further tests revealed that she has two masses. One is operable and the other is not. They will do surgery on Tuesday to remove the mass that is located on the part of the brain that controls all of her motor functions. The other is too deep in her brain to try to operate. They are letting her go home for the weekend to rest and be with her family.
My aunt is a great woman of God and has great faith that He will cure her and protect her. She is showing great strength and courage that I know she is drawing from her Lord. Please pray for her.
My Aunt and My Mother
Thursday, October 6, 2011
The Beginning at Baptist.
I arrived at Baptist about 8:30 pm on November 11th. It had been a long day. They got me set up in a room and I vaguely remember some family and friends coming to visit but that could have been another day as well. I can't be sure of when specific things occurred over the next few days. It is all a blur and it was then too.
My doctor checked me again and I had dilated to a 4. That meant another round of magnesium. Yuck. Matt and I were so unsure of what was going on, but I am pretty sure that I cried for a week straight. After the third round of magnesium, things seem to be somewhat stable. At some point during the night a NICU nurse came to talk to us about what we could expect if I delivered at 24 week. The survival rate was 51%. She explained how underdeveloped our babies would be and since they didn't even weight one pound yet, things looked pretty grim. She told us we might have to make some difficult decisions based on the health and quality of life our children might have. Even now, thinking about that brings me to tears. I don't know how we could have made those kinds of decisions. To think that we might not get to enjoy our babies and watch them grow up was unbearable. Matt and I talked about it after she left and knew that we would not want our children to suffer. We decided that we wouldn't even try to process that or make any preliminary decisions. It was just too difficult.
I am not sure how much sleep either of us got during those first few days. There were lots of downs and a few stable moments. One night, four nurses and one anesthesiologist stuck me seven times before they were able to get a good IV port. So on top of all of the other stuff, I was a pin cushion.
At this point I was on complete bed rest and would be for a week and a half. I had a few more magnesium rounds and was put on a medication four times a day and had what we came to call my rescue shots to keep me from contracting and dilating anymore. I didn't get to shower for a week an a half. You can imagine how I looked after crying for a week, sweating profusely from the magnesium and laying in a bed but not sleeping much. I did not master the use of the bedpan, but was brought to new levels of comfort (or complete and total humiliation) with my mother, husband and a few nurses.
Things began to settle after those first 9 days and finally I was allowed to get up and shower. What a glorious 5 minute shower it was. It took me 20 minutes just to get ready to walk 6 feet and sit in the shower, but it was totally worth it. My mother took my doctor's orders of a short shower to the max. She was so strict about in and out but I savored every moment, because I was not sure when the next one would be. I do have to say it was nice to have someone else wash my hair! Thanks Mama!
We had been hearing that the new and improved wing would be open any day and I would be one of the first ones moved over there, so on day 10, they moved me to my new home! Room 418.
My doctor checked me again and I had dilated to a 4. That meant another round of magnesium. Yuck. Matt and I were so unsure of what was going on, but I am pretty sure that I cried for a week straight. After the third round of magnesium, things seem to be somewhat stable. At some point during the night a NICU nurse came to talk to us about what we could expect if I delivered at 24 week. The survival rate was 51%. She explained how underdeveloped our babies would be and since they didn't even weight one pound yet, things looked pretty grim. She told us we might have to make some difficult decisions based on the health and quality of life our children might have. Even now, thinking about that brings me to tears. I don't know how we could have made those kinds of decisions. To think that we might not get to enjoy our babies and watch them grow up was unbearable. Matt and I talked about it after she left and knew that we would not want our children to suffer. We decided that we wouldn't even try to process that or make any preliminary decisions. It was just too difficult.
I am not sure how much sleep either of us got during those first few days. There were lots of downs and a few stable moments. One night, four nurses and one anesthesiologist stuck me seven times before they were able to get a good IV port. So on top of all of the other stuff, I was a pin cushion.
At this point I was on complete bed rest and would be for a week and a half. I had a few more magnesium rounds and was put on a medication four times a day and had what we came to call my rescue shots to keep me from contracting and dilating anymore. I didn't get to shower for a week an a half. You can imagine how I looked after crying for a week, sweating profusely from the magnesium and laying in a bed but not sleeping much. I did not master the use of the bedpan, but was brought to new levels of comfort (or complete and total humiliation) with my mother, husband and a few nurses.
Things began to settle after those first 9 days and finally I was allowed to get up and shower. What a glorious 5 minute shower it was. It took me 20 minutes just to get ready to walk 6 feet and sit in the shower, but it was totally worth it. My mother took my doctor's orders of a short shower to the max. She was so strict about in and out but I savored every moment, because I was not sure when the next one would be. I do have to say it was nice to have someone else wash my hair! Thanks Mama!
We had been hearing that the new and improved wing would be open any day and I would be one of the first ones moved over there, so on day 10, they moved me to my new home! Room 418.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Blessings
We serve a mighty and faithful God. Looking back over the events of those few days I can clearly see how God was caring for me and our precious babies.
Had God not been in control of this situation, I would probably would have delivered at 24 weeks. He provided the day off and the cancelled ultrasound appointment that allowed me to get in on such short notice. He prepared a way for me to go to the hospital in a room with a contraction monitor and provided a very caring and and concerned doctor. He prevented me from being too active that could have caused even more problems.
All of those things can't be just luck or coincidences.God was blessing our family and providing ways for us to be able to get the medical help we needed to save our babies lives.
Had God not been in control of this situation, I would probably would have delivered at 24 weeks. He provided the day off and the cancelled ultrasound appointment that allowed me to get in on such short notice. He prepared a way for me to go to the hospital in a room with a contraction monitor and provided a very caring and and concerned doctor. He prevented me from being too active that could have caused even more problems.
All of those things can't be just luck or coincidences.God was blessing our family and providing ways for us to be able to get the medical help we needed to save our babies lives.
He is faithful.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
A Day I Will Never Forget
Day 2...I was not sure that I would make it this far!
I thought about what I wanted to write and decided I am going to write about what happened on November 11, 2010 that changed my life drastically and the events and days that followed. So here it goes. This will take a few days of my 31 I'm sure!
I have to back up a little before November 11th to explain how that day even happened. I was sitting in my office weekly staff meeting on Monday morning and my boss reminded us that we had November 11th off. I had already scheduled my 24 week ultrasound and doctor's appointment for that next Tuesday. These two appointments together would mean I would be off half a day. So after the meeting I called Matt to see if I could change the appointments to Thursday would he be available. He was. That meant I would not have to take off more sick time that I might need closer to the end of my pregnancy. I called the ultrasound place first and they had just had a cancellation and would be able to set up an appointment for me on Thursday. Perfect. I was excited to have the day off but knew I would use that time to polish my hardwood floors, clean the house, shop for costumes for a murder mystery dinner and cook dinner, all in addition to the now scheduled ultrasound.
I woke up that morning as Matt was leaving for work and kissed him goodbye and told him I would see him at 10. I got up ate some breakfast, put clothes in to laundry piles, got ready for the day and snuggled with my puppies and watched a little of the Today Show. Little did I know that walking out my door a little before 10 would be the last time I would see my house for six weeks.
We arrived at the ultrasound and it felt a little different than usual. We had a student doing it and she was very quiet. She had the regular tech come in at the end and use the trans-vaginal ultrasound device to look at my cervix. She said that was normal with twins at this stage. She told me to get dressed but to wait there for her to come back.
She brought back a doctor with her that said my cervix was shortening and that I needed to go over to my doctor's office now and get a shot that would help the babies with their lung development and that I would probably be on bed rest for two weeks. I lost it. I asked questions and I remember that the doctor would not answer them. He said I would need to talk to my doctor. I think Matt was just in shock because we really didn't know what this all meant.
We walked down the hall to my doctor's office, still in tears, and told them why we were there. They had us wait and after what seemed like hours, only a few minutes, they told us they could not administer the shot there because there was not a doctor there to sign off on it. We would have to go over to the hospital across the road and get it there. So still in tears we make our way over to the hospital. We did have to wait a while there. Finally they came and got us and took us to a room. A nurse came in and gave me a shot. She said my doctor was just getting out of surgery and would be in to see us in a few minutes. She came in and explained to us that what was happening was part of the labor process and that if I did go into labor and deliver the shot would help the babies' lungs develop since it was so early. Since I was at the hospital, and there was a contraction monitor in the room, she decided she wanted to put me on and just see if I was contracting. Ten minutes later she came back in and I was having contractions. Of course I was still upset and this made me start crying again. She was admitting me to the hospital for 48 hours and would give me magnesium to stop my contractions.
At this point, Matt and I had no idea how serious this was nor what was about to happen next. Matt called our parents and let them know what was going on and we both made arrangements with our work. Even in that situation, I was still scheming how I could be on "bed rest" at home and still work. I fully thought I would only be in the hospital for 48 hours and then be allowed to go home and just rest for the of my pregnancy. My doctor even told me that if she was really worried then she would send me to Baptist Hospital since Lakeside did not have a NICU.
She checked me and I was dilated to a one. They started the magnesium drip. What a sensation that was! I felt like I was on fire and everything touching me made it worse. I just tried to lay as still as I could. I just wanted it to stop. And then 3 hours later, they gave me another round. Again with the fire and the burning...not a fun experience at all.
We knew we would be there for at least a day or so, so Matt had our friend Ed meet him at our house so we would just have one vehicle at the hospital. While he was gone, my doctor came in to check me again. I was dilated to a three. She looked at the nurse and told her to call the ambulance because I was going to Baptist.
I called Matt and let him know and he rushed back to the hospital just in time to see them taking me out of the room. I tried to joke with the ambulance people, for my sake, but they were all business. I wanted more than anything to have Matt there with me, but he was following behind in our car. I remember looking out the window of the ambulance and seeing Lake Hefner and thinking how nice it would be to take a drive around it.
I thought about what I wanted to write and decided I am going to write about what happened on November 11, 2010 that changed my life drastically and the events and days that followed. So here it goes. This will take a few days of my 31 I'm sure!
I have to back up a little before November 11th to explain how that day even happened. I was sitting in my office weekly staff meeting on Monday morning and my boss reminded us that we had November 11th off. I had already scheduled my 24 week ultrasound and doctor's appointment for that next Tuesday. These two appointments together would mean I would be off half a day. So after the meeting I called Matt to see if I could change the appointments to Thursday would he be available. He was. That meant I would not have to take off more sick time that I might need closer to the end of my pregnancy. I called the ultrasound place first and they had just had a cancellation and would be able to set up an appointment for me on Thursday. Perfect. I was excited to have the day off but knew I would use that time to polish my hardwood floors, clean the house, shop for costumes for a murder mystery dinner and cook dinner, all in addition to the now scheduled ultrasound.
I woke up that morning as Matt was leaving for work and kissed him goodbye and told him I would see him at 10. I got up ate some breakfast, put clothes in to laundry piles, got ready for the day and snuggled with my puppies and watched a little of the Today Show. Little did I know that walking out my door a little before 10 would be the last time I would see my house for six weeks.
We arrived at the ultrasound and it felt a little different than usual. We had a student doing it and she was very quiet. She had the regular tech come in at the end and use the trans-vaginal ultrasound device to look at my cervix. She said that was normal with twins at this stage. She told me to get dressed but to wait there for her to come back.
She brought back a doctor with her that said my cervix was shortening and that I needed to go over to my doctor's office now and get a shot that would help the babies with their lung development and that I would probably be on bed rest for two weeks. I lost it. I asked questions and I remember that the doctor would not answer them. He said I would need to talk to my doctor. I think Matt was just in shock because we really didn't know what this all meant.
We walked down the hall to my doctor's office, still in tears, and told them why we were there. They had us wait and after what seemed like hours, only a few minutes, they told us they could not administer the shot there because there was not a doctor there to sign off on it. We would have to go over to the hospital across the road and get it there. So still in tears we make our way over to the hospital. We did have to wait a while there. Finally they came and got us and took us to a room. A nurse came in and gave me a shot. She said my doctor was just getting out of surgery and would be in to see us in a few minutes. She came in and explained to us that what was happening was part of the labor process and that if I did go into labor and deliver the shot would help the babies' lungs develop since it was so early. Since I was at the hospital, and there was a contraction monitor in the room, she decided she wanted to put me on and just see if I was contracting. Ten minutes later she came back in and I was having contractions. Of course I was still upset and this made me start crying again. She was admitting me to the hospital for 48 hours and would give me magnesium to stop my contractions.
At this point, Matt and I had no idea how serious this was nor what was about to happen next. Matt called our parents and let them know what was going on and we both made arrangements with our work. Even in that situation, I was still scheming how I could be on "bed rest" at home and still work. I fully thought I would only be in the hospital for 48 hours and then be allowed to go home and just rest for the of my pregnancy. My doctor even told me that if she was really worried then she would send me to Baptist Hospital since Lakeside did not have a NICU.
She checked me and I was dilated to a one. They started the magnesium drip. What a sensation that was! I felt like I was on fire and everything touching me made it worse. I just tried to lay as still as I could. I just wanted it to stop. And then 3 hours later, they gave me another round. Again with the fire and the burning...not a fun experience at all.
We knew we would be there for at least a day or so, so Matt had our friend Ed meet him at our house so we would just have one vehicle at the hospital. While he was gone, my doctor came in to check me again. I was dilated to a three. She looked at the nurse and told her to call the ambulance because I was going to Baptist.
I called Matt and let him know and he rushed back to the hospital just in time to see them taking me out of the room. I tried to joke with the ambulance people, for my sake, but they were all business. I wanted more than anything to have Matt there with me, but he was following behind in our car. I remember looking out the window of the ambulance and seeing Lake Hefner and thinking how nice it would be to take a drive around it.
Monday, October 3, 2011
It Has Been a While
Eleven months ago I was blogging and then I stopped. My life changed dramatically and quickly and I did not feel like blogging, had no energy to blog, and had no time to blog. Life has continued to change but now I feel like blogging again, have some energy and I am trying to find the time!
A few blogs I am following are doing a 31 day challenge to blog everyday in the month of October. I am a few days behind for all of the above reasons but I am going to still try to do it even if it means running a few days into November!
As I blog these next 31 days I hope to tell the story of how and why I stopped blogging and the blessings that occurred during that time. Hint...I have two babies now!
A few blogs I am following are doing a 31 day challenge to blog everyday in the month of October. I am a few days behind for all of the above reasons but I am going to still try to do it even if it means running a few days into November!
As I blog these next 31 days I hope to tell the story of how and why I stopped blogging and the blessings that occurred during that time. Hint...I have two babies now!
Photo by: Mandy Stansberry Photograpy mandystansberry.com
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